Health Update

I realize that I have not written any updates about my health since the surgery last April.  I am doing really well physically, I have not weighed myself in about a month due to lack of access to a scale (mine is in storage).  The last time I weighed myself I am happy to say that I had finally made it to "Onederland" as my dear friend calls it.  "Onederland" is a place where you are finally under 200 lbs and you have a 1 in front of your number.  For many people that means nothing, but for a person who was WELL over 200 lbs for the last oh 5 or 6 years, Onederland is a great place to be in.  I know that I am continually doing well even though I have no number to prove it because the clothes I bought a month ago are already starting to get a little too big for me.  I bought a few new pairs of jeans right before I left Maryland and yesterday when I put a pair on (fresh from the dryer) I noticed the pesky little saggyness in the rear that creeps up when it is not completely filled out ;o).  I haven't been cycling and I miss it A LOT, but I have taken up jogging in its place on weekends.  At this time my commute makes it nearly impossible to exercise during the week, I leave the house for work at 6:30 am and I return home about 7:00 pm, sometimes later due to traffic.  I've learned to flow with these changes, I keep it even stricter in my diet, keeping to just lean protein, veggies and an occasional carb during the day and thankfully my office is on the third floor so I do stairs as much as possible during the day.

Eating - Eating presents an internal struggle that I have to be proactive in my awareness of habits.  I'm 7 months out from surgery, healed quite a bit and I don't "feel" the restrictions as tight as I did when I first began (I do still feel them though).  This is SCARY for someone who has had bariatric surgery.  In my mind I panic and think "oh no did I stretch my pouch out?"  I got so used to eating teaspoons of food at a time, that what is supposed to be a normal serving 3oz of lean protein, 1/2 c veggies, looks like a gluttonous feast and when I see an empty plate I feel a little bit of fear.  Also the need to eat at more times throughout the day also makes me feel like I'm eating too much as well.  The battle that comes from healing is this:  Surgery caused the pendulum to swing so much the other way that now finding balance between the two is almost like carving a whole new path.  That is where I am at right now, finding a new healthy balanced life between the two.  There are good days and there are not so good days.  I have learned that I feel less "tight" when I stick to the proteins and veggies and the "tightness" comes a lot quicker when I eat anything that is starchy like potatoes, rice and bread.  Since I don't eat those more than one portion a day, I don't feel the tightness as much anymore.  The journey takes a lot of thought and reflection!  I've come to rest with the fact of my life that whether I am choosing death or life, food is never going to go away, I've got to deal with it.  Whether it is planning it out and making the right choices or making the wrong choice by eating whatever thinking it is not going to affect me when it fact it is killing me in different ways, I have to deal with it.